Lightbulb Jokes

Theater Humor! haha Q: Why don't stage managers get breaks? A: Because it's too hard to re-train them. Q: How many pencils does a stage manager have? A: One. He can draw another one out of his hair if he loses it. *** Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Complain to the director at notes. Q: How many directors does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Give a note to the stage manager to fix it! Q: How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Pull the technical director off a set installation to deal with it. Q: How many technical directors does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Call the master electrician at home to fix it. Q: How many master electricians does it take to change a light bulb? A: We don't change bulbs, only halogen lamps. It's a props problem. Q: How many props masters does it take to change a light bulb? A: Light bulb?! When did they even get a lamp? Q: How many theater critics does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: All of them - one to be highly critical of the design elements, one to express contempt for the glow of the lamp, one to lambast the interpretation of wattage used, one to critique the performance of the bulb itself, one to recall superb light bulbs of past seasons and lament how this one fails to measure up, and all to join in the refrain, reflecting on how they could build a better light bulb in their sleep. Q: How many theater students does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Erm, what's the deadline? I may need an extension. Q: How many audience members does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to do it, one child to cry and another to say, "ROSE, HE'S CHANGING THE LIGHT BULB." Q: How many interns does it take to change a light bulb? A: It doesn't matter, because you'll have to do it again, anyway. Q: How many directors does it take to change a light bulb? A: 4... no, make that 3... on second thought 4... well, better make it 5, just to be safe. Q: How many assistant directors does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. But s/he has to check with the director first to make sure he wants the bulb there. Q: How many producers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Why do we need another light bulb? Christy Lynn (I didn't make these up. And also, if you're involved with theater, you'll definitely get these.)